if you're ever worried about getting away with something, just put on a shirt and tie. you'll do just fine.

You can't change the spots of a shit leopard.

Athena's New Habit #2

When Athena wants me to wake up in the morning to take her to the bathroom, she jumps [up the (box spring + mattress) distance] onto my bed and lays down with her front half on the top of my head.

should this event ever be documented, i will upload pics.

Did you know that in the Facebook spellcheck, it considers Facebook incorrectly spelled unless it is capitalized? Go try it.
Also, 'facebook' is not capitalized in its logo. So...

One of my favorite things to do in the world is to eat an Arby's french dip sandwich (with au jus) while driving.

"I wish the power company would just turn the power back on at midnight... I have no idea how to set the clock on my stove."

-Walter Cuthbertson Spearman III, 2011

Subtle intonation is not intonation.